What a dog can mean....

Personally, I have always been a believer in the healing power of animals.  I've spent my life, thus far, around horses and dogs of all sizes, shapes, colors and breeds.  I've seen it first hand.  There is something about an animal that has the ability to bring peace to your mind even in the worst of times and there is always one who seems to be able to do that for you more than any other.

Throughout the past four years, I have led my life around the Army.  I was an Army girlfriend, and Army fiance, an Army wife and now, again since my divorce, an Army girlfriend again.  A viscous cycle lol.  In those four years, I have seen and learned a lot, about others and myself.  Most of it has been incredibly positive, but there are some things I've learned that haven't been lessons I wished for.  I've learned about PTSD, TBI, about people not returning home from war, about children learning of a parents death on their birthday, about the fact that the time you lose with a spouse or loved one during a deployment is time that you can never get back.  You learn about things like secondary PTSD (  http://www.familyofavet.com/secondary_ptsd.html  ) and about the fact that Military spouses are at higher risk for depression ( http://digitaljournal.com/article/285690 ) and the stress is another story all in itself.  You begin to feel as if you've given some of the best parts of your life, ones that should have been happy, to the Army, Afghanistan, Iraq, etc and emotionally or physically lost people you loved along the way.  There is a void you can't seem to fill and a part of you that aches constantly that doesn't seem to go away.  You want what you lost back or a chance to wrap your mind around all that has happened.  However, there never seems to be a way to do that.  At least there didn't seem to be for me.

And then, I met Etta.  I always said before she came here I wanted to help her because I wanted something positive to come out of all everyone in my family and friend circle had given to Afghanistan and what could be more positive than helping a dog in need who can give you such unconditional love and caring.  However, I never realized the full extent of that statement until Etta arrived. 

I remember on her second or third day here, I was having an awful day.  The stress of waiting through a third deployment was weighing on me heavily, everything had gone wrong and I just wanted to sit down and cry.  Etta was comfortably resting in her 'safe spot' under our table.  I went over and laid on the floor next to her and began talking and petting her.  I talked about a lot of things with Etta and somehow I felt that she understood every word I said.  She understood what that place takes from you and the void it leaves inside of people.  She understood the things you hear and see from there (except she saw them first hand whereas I've heard the stories in moments of despair and seen photos and video I can't erase from my mind).  Etta, I knew, understood.  As I laid there and spoke to her, I felt everything start melting away.  And that void that I spoke of, started to fill, just a little but fill nonetheless.

In some way I can't explain, helping dogs, but especially THESE dogs, has helped all of us start to heal even just in the short time we've been involved in this project.  THAT is why starting Raja Renata is so important to me.  I want to see that kind of healing in other people who have experienced what we have, and worse.

I want to go into more detail but the doggies are getting impatient so I will continue later.  Until next time...